Today in the News

Al Gore’s Mother Dies at 92

Vultures Row wishes to express our deepest sympathy to the Gore family during this difficult time. Loss is never easy and mere words are of little comfort. Remember and treasure the memories of her and carry them in your heart and she will never be gone from your lives.


Newark Airport Workers Loose Bomb

How would you like to have to call your boss and explain to her that you lost a fake bomb used for training your staff to FIND bombs at the airport? Not only did they loose the training aid it didn’t turn up until it was found overseas. I wonder if this supervisor will be getting a bonus this Christmas.


Anna Kournikova Get Married

Who cares? Second rate player with no title wins marries some guy. Big deal.


British Court Lets Terrorists Go

Ok, so the are not letting them go free, but did rule that the government can not hold detainees without charges indefinitely. We are of mixed opinion on this here at VR. On the one hand terrorists should never be let go to continue there activities and on the other if someone is arrested, they should be charged and prosecuted to the fullest extent possible. The rule of law is clear on this issue. Prisoners of all wars have been afforded rights, however this war is much different for many reasons. Given the nature of the suspects that have been arrested IN COMBAT ZONES we would rather error on the side of caution and not have anyone’s kids blown up at a Sabaros.


Payback is a Bitch

Reputed Mafia Don Kofi “The Gazelle” Annan, who is being investigated for violating the RICO statute, has placed a hit on the doctor who has turned states evidence against him… oh wait…sorry Let us start over…
Whistle Blower Looses Contract

The UN has declined to renew the contract of a worker who had co-authored a book critical of the United Nations Oil-For-Food program. Despite more than twelve years of good performance reviews and contract renewals the UN has decided to let the good doctor go for “violating a U.N. staff rule that bars outside publication without permission of the secretary-general. There is also the additional problem of their earning money from the enterprise, which is also barred without permission from Annan” said a UN staff official. So The Gazelle doesn’t get a kick back and looks bad and the next thing you know, the man trying to point out the 22 incidences of illegality, abuse of authority, gross mismanagement, specific and substantial threats to public health and safety, has to look for new job. Nice move, UN. Maybe they should hire that PR firm that the Saudis used.


Chevy Chase Blows…Performance

The no talent Chase thrashed President Bush during an event at the Kennedy Center. Shocking conservatives and liberals alike with his vulgar speech and inane ratings, even Norman Lear was back peddling from Chase. These leads us to confess that we thought Chase had died, having not heard about him for so long.
Chase’s previous credits include such cinematic classics such as:
Vegas Vacation (1997)
Goose! (2004)
Bad Meat (2003)
Vacuums (2002)
Man of the House (1995)
And many more memorable films



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