Have You Ever Locked Your Child in the Car?

The United States Air Force did just that, except it was not a child but a pilot, and it was not a car put a new F-22 Raptor fighter.

For about five hours Captain Brad Spears (no relation) was forced to sit in the cockpit of the $361,000,000 aerospace marvel. While Capt. Brad was sweltering under the canopy he played with his code books and tried to tune the multi-million dollar communications system to Air America Radio to see if ANYONE could actually find it, mechanics from his squadron, reps from Lockheed-Martin drank ice cold sodas and decided they could not figure out how to open the thing.

Once the degreed engineers and highly skilled mechanics decided that there was nothing they could do, the conversation switched to American Idol and the unjust outing of what’s-his-name. Moments later a knuckle dragging, Crash-n-Smash grunt (Read: Air field fire fighter) walked up to the $268,000 state-of-the-art wind screen with a $39 chain saw and had the pilot out in a matter of minutes.

There was no word as to whether Capt Spears beat the Engineers to a pulp for taunting him with their ice cold refreshing Coca-Cola ™, while he lost half his body weight in sweat under the three quarter inch ballistic plastic.