Its Good to be...

Today I had a revelation. This morning I climbed into my huge 8 cylinder SUV to drive the 30 miles to work. My mind was occupied with the forced conversion to Christianity of my heathen co-workers. I lit up a cigar and turned on the talk radio when a man in a funny looking Honda or Toyota changed lanes in front of me.

I swerved to the right (always to the right) and skidded off the highway onto the grassy area. I knocked down 20 or so saplings and knocked a large pine tree. Imagine my surprise when the bald eagle, its nest and three eggs landed on my hood. I’ll have to wash the egg yolk off before lunch. Anyway the coals on my cigar fell off and out the window, the fire spread quickly into the forest next to the road. I managed to gain control of my huge SUV by dropping it into four wheel drive mode. It gripped the grass before throwing it a few yards. My mighty luxury truck shot back onto the freeway just before the bridge. When I got back in control I noticed that the tanker truck behind me swerved and went over the embankment spilling its load of toxic waste into the city’s reservoir. As I looked at the smoke rising from the forest fire I re-lit my cigar and thought to myself;

“It is good to be an Evil Conservative.”